Hurrah! Its actually a physical thing now!

 It's here!!!

Well… it’s here.

After a year and a half of writing, editing, questioning, swearing, and slowly pouring what makes me me into written form, the book now exists as something real. Physical. Tangible. I can hold it in my hands.

That moment is hard to describe.

I’ve updated the cover image — full colour, stretched across the front and back — and I genuinely think it works beautifully. Seeing it as a finished object is strangely exciting and deeply nerve-wracking all at once. This book feels like a window into my inner world, into parts of myself that I haven’t shared with many people. In putting it into the world, I’m also putting me out there.

In a quieter way, it feels like a gift to my children too. If they ever choose to read it, it’s a way for them to understand me — not just what I do, but how I think, feel, and walk through the world.

Now comes the next phase: going through it carefully in physical form. Spotting revisions. Tweaking wording. Making small but important amendments. That process feels different now — more purposeful. There’s a clear goal in sight, and that changes everything.

And then there’s the truly scary part.

Really releasing it.

Will anyone buy it?
Will anyone understand it?
Does it matter if they do — or if they don’t?
Is opening up in this way actually a good thing?

So many questions.

But for now, I’m letting myself sit with this moment — with the quiet satisfaction of something carried for a long time finally taking shape in the world.

Whatever comes next, this part is real now.